


She Closes Her Eyes

by Scar of hope



Category: iCarly
Genre: Angst, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-12-27
Updated: 2011-12-27
Packaged: 2015-04-25 12:51:03
Rating: T
Chapters: 1
Words: 343
Publisher: www.fanfiction.net
Story URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/s/7680758/1/
Author URL: https://www.fanfiction.net/u/1729381/Scar-of-hope
Summary: ...because pretending is as close as she'll ever get





	She Closes Her Eyes

**I don't own iCarly**

**~3~**

She's got **nothing** now[_but it's not like she had anyhting to begin with_]

And there's _his_ face in front of her and _he_ **kisses** her and she f e e l s like _**trash**_ because she's l y i n g to _him_.

It's unfair because she's **not** _his_ and she _never_ was and she

never

will

be

she was only ever **his**,

_her heart_, **her mind**, her everything[_even though it's wrong and he'll never love her, __**ever**__] _

sometimes she c l o s e s her _eyes_ and pretends she's not kissing _him_, but **him**,

and then it feels_ right _and she can

_B_

_R_

_E_

_A_

_T_

_H_

_E_

again.

And she tries[_she really does, even though it kills her_] to _forget_, to not love **him**, to not belong to **him** [_but it never works_]

She says it again

and again

and again

[_repitition, repitition_]

because if you **say** the _lie_ enough it e v e n t u a l l y becomes the

truth

And she almost_ does_, almost **convinces** herself that she doesn't, that she _**doesn't**_ love **him**, that they're _not_ meant to **be** t o g e t h e r

but then _**she's**_ there, with her hands all _over_** him** and

_something_

**green **and t e r r i f y i n g

erupts to life in her _heart_

And[_sometimes_]she looks into **his** face and tries to find

_something_,

anything

in **his** face, and[_sometimes_]she thinks

she does

[_but that might just be her own imagination_]

And maybe that was it, that she **needed**, wanted, _loved_ **him**, but **he** a l w a y s belongs to

_someone _else

Maybe** that **was what _hurt_ so

b

a

d

maybe that was what _kept_ her a w a k e

Because **he **_always_ leaves her b e h i n d in the end

[_and everytime she dies a little more_]


End file.
